Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
