Dual....:-)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
