every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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