physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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