The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
