but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
