I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wish my penis had an off switch
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
There r osticjed everywhere
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
