My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
