also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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