oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize