It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize