I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
