i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize