you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
