if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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