Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
