Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
