I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
