kristin has been a bad kristin
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
