Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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