I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
