wat bout pragnant strippers??
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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