bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
