hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
