so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
