I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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