Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
