Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
