I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
It was confusing and full of hummus
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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