i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize