I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
