dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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