Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
