I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
