Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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