The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
