I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Someone shattered a urinal.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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