remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
