is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
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