Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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