My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If that was your dad, he is hot
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
