Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize