oh god the rape fog is back!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
