i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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