The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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