By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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