My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
