My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
