He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
