yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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