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i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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