Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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