Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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