She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
