i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
