I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's blow job season.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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