i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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