Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize