i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
