You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
and i looked up. we had an audience...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
