If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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