He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
