i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
