My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
PANTIES FOUND
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
