my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
