Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
