Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
