i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
