My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
